What I tell myself when I’m in a shame spiral
I am an imperfect yet worthwhile person.
I have value and worth.
I can love myself and accept my past
I am worthy of love and acceptance, exactly as I am.
My past actions do not define me.
fam able to give and receive love.
I am a better person today than I was yesterday.
When you’re in a shame spiral, your anxiety can quickly consume your thoughts and emotions. It’s a cycle that can be challenging to break free from, but one way to start is by changing the way you speak to yourself.
The words you use matter, and being kind and compassionate to yourself can make a significant difference in your mental well-being. Instead of berating yourself for past mistakes or shortcomings, try offering words of encouragement and self-compassion.
*For example, imagine you had an important work meeting. You start to feel nauseous and panicky… and need a break. After about 10 minutes you’re able to use your healing tools to regulate yourself and finished the presentation. But you still feel embarrassed, ashamed, and alone that anxiety gets the best of you sometimes.
- In a shame spiral, you might start telling yourself things like, “I’m such an idiot. Why am I like this? I always mess things up. I’ll never be good enough.” These negative self-talks only serve to reinforce your anxiety and make you feel worse.
[6:50 PM, 9/21/2025] My UK 🇬🇧 Plug: Instead, try reframing the situation by saying something like, “I have value despite my struggle with mental health. It’s ok if I’m not perfect. This is an opportunity for me to learn and grow. I’m human, and it doesn’t define my worth or abilities.” By choosing kinder and more compassionate words, you can begin to diffuse the power of shame and anxiety.
It’s important to remember that no one is perfect, and making mistakes is a natural part of life. In moments when you find yourself in a shame spiral, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you deserve love, understanding, and forgiveness – just like anyone else.
Treat yourself with the same compassion and empathy you would offer to a friend or loved one. Practice self-compassion regularly, and over time, you’ll notice a shift in your anxiety levels and overall well-being.
